Good Bye Strange Temp…

For the financers and bankers amongst us, you may well be aware that we have just completed yet another end of financial year. In the rushed race to balance, rec and hedge positions, I hired a temp to assist with filing and scanning documents. I could feel in it my waters, that something wasn’t quite right with her…my instincts proved spot on as a couple of month passed; her antics became stranger and stranger.

At first, it was the fact that her pants were pulled sky high, I used to cringe as she walked by, sporting a permanent wedgie for all to see. This was closely followed by the fact that she would work with surgical gloves on both hands and every finger would also be capped off by rubber thimbles. Not a good look for work ladies.

Her eccentric antics further proved my theory that this temp was indeed, “special”. We would arrive at our desks together every morning and like clockwork, she would excuse herself and then disappear for about 20-30 minutes. Upon returning, she had a freezer bag filled with goodies from the kitchen. Such goodies consisted of a packet of biscuits, a loaf of Noble Rise grained bread (I noticed she had a thing for the grained bread), a small sample of fruits and who could forget 2 liters of full cream milk, in which she would proceed to consume in one huge gulp.

I have been on annual leave the past week and coincidently it was also her last week with the Bank. I meet up with some work peeps for a leaving do at the Arthouse on Friday and was greeted with a bundle of sly looks and giggles from my team. I couldn’t pretend to ignore the strangeness anymore and confronted a colleague of mine. She proceeded to tell me about a ‘goodbye’ email the temp had sent before she left. This is the cherry on top and fries on the side, it went a little something like the this:

“Hi All,

Thank you for everyone’s help and patience over the past couple of months…blah blah blah (other formalities)…

p.s Betty and Kenny (another team member), I really feel that you two belong together. Kenny is the only one who makes you laugh, Betty. And Kenny, since Betty’s been away, you haven’t been yourself; you just don’t seem to be as happy.”

Needless to say, I was a little mortified. To top it off, she sent it to a worldwide email address…for all to see! Who puts something like that in a leaving email!?!

Good bye strange Temp…