Nasty Girls…

Lisa and I were hesitantly introduced to what seems like a mutant strain or the distant cousin of what seemed to be two women last weekend. Upon the initial meeting, these two broads stumbled and fumbled as they attempted to shake our hands. I think one of them were a little shocked at my death grip hand shake (my professional and fabulous hand shake has been evolved through years of working in a highly saturated boys club).

Needless to say, there was the integral up and down glance. For the ladies reading this, you know what I mean when I refer to the comparison glance (c-glance). The c-glance refers to a quick and automatic up and down motion of the head, females often participate in this primal act as a comparative tool. This motion allows us to sum up the competition or the company in one single glance.

The c-glance last weekend revealed a truly horrid sight. Think D-grade escorts, sporting hair that seemed strangely flammable. They staggered around the streets of Sydney struggling to keep their naval and breast bearing tops on. As their shoes became wedged in the grids of the Sydney street, to my dismay, they bent over to reveal their derriere. Clad in matching outfits and oh so classy tattoos that etched the words princess on their back sides, Lisa and I wondered where have all the classy ladies gone? Why has hair been replaced with straw like head gear? Why have flirty skirts been substituted for belts? And when did naval flashing ever become socially acceptable?

The end of the night saw us out on the balcony of a club that shall remain nameless, chatting to ALL the sexy fellas from the party. The moral of this story is that a little class, a cocktail and a stimulating conversation will command you respect and attention. Alternatively, featuring in the special skin-bearing Olympics, will get you many eye rolls and hours of uncomfortable outfit adjustment. Let’s raise our glasses and toast the sexy and classy ladies representin’ out there.

Ladies... this one's for you

Can i just start by saying oh my, I'd like to break me off a peice of that!
Not much needs to be said really, just sit back and enjoy...

Black Betty

Recently I have experienced a little bit of a bad run. I have felt a little used and abused by people whom I no longer call my friends (they have since been down graded to random individuals whom I shall avoid eye contact should I pass them on the street). I was left to fend for myself at work for 2 dramatic weeks while other colleagues basked in the sun as I sat under the artificial neon lighting, not an ideal tanning situation. Additionally, I received news that I had not achieved the results that I had hoped for on an exam I had recently completed (this is due to the fact that I was held captive at work where they installed a microchip into my brain that enabled me to endure the 15 hour days that I was faced with.)

So, when life throws you lemons, the best you can do is make lemonade. I have figured that this is much more socially acceptable than eating the lemons which would in turn create a very shriveled and unattractive look on one’s face. I refuse to become one of those people who wallow in all the badness life has presented them. Really, who wants to be a bad haired wallower, when you can be a well groomed medium happy individual? *Yeah!*

Psychic Moments

Upon cleaning out my room, I stumbled upon some notes I had taken on a visit to a psychic 5 months ago. I usually don’t take these things at face value but the below predictions have surprisingly eventuated:

1. Career wise, he predicted that there would be major restructuring in my team; this was to happen in about 3 or 4 months. 4 months after I saw the psychic my manager resigned, we now have a new team structure with new management and a new location. He also stated that I would be more passionate and excited about money…I am yet to experience a gleeful couple of hours rolling around on a bed lined with $100 dollar bills.

2. On the family front, he predicted that my extended family would become much closer by the end of the year. Those reading this may be rolling their eyes and shaking their fists thinking “well that was obvious, hello, Christmas!” For those who don’t know my family, should know that the day time shows Days of our Lives and Passions are loosely based on my family. In saying that, Christmas and New Year celebrations brought my family closer then ever this year, there goes that warm fuzzy feeling again.

3. On a more interesting note, he predicted a little more drama on the friendship front. The psychic predicated that I would loose or outgrow 2 of my friends. Looking back I can name the 2 friends whom I have become estranged from…*tears*

Another friendship prediction suggested that two of my friends would settle down in the next 6 months. In my head I had conjured up images of country farm houses and children in polka dot overalls. I then realised that indeed, 2 of my good friends have since announced their engagement and are soon to be settled…creepy.

4. Romantically speaking, I am yet to meet the tall, stylish and dashingly handsome entrepreneur that sweeps my off my feet.

I think that a visit to the psychic should be taken with a pinch of salt (and perhaps a shot of tequila if need be). Predictions are just that, they should be taken light heartedly. Although you can’t help but believe that there must be something more out there than what we can see and touch.

Weekend piccies

Dinner with the ladies at Cafe Sydney

Macquarie Bank ladies @ Renee's 21st

Lip smaking Goodies

Lamies' Resolutions for 2006

1. Try not to read the horoscope section of SMH and secretly spend the rest of the day waiting for the following prediction to come true; There's a whole lot of action energy around you today and it's made especially for physical activity that brings pleasure…

2. Be content in the fact that our hair will not always do what it is told. However, in extreme circumstances, resort to our right in exercising a sickie (bad hair days are right up there with food poisoning aren’t they?)

3. Take more risks to make ourselves happy (even if it means adorning a pizza box costume and handing out flyers in front of Pizza Heaven, I am one step closer to those shoes I have been ogling over.)

4. Be more tolerant of “Cat-lovers” (let’s just agree to disagree)

5. Learn to become a rustic (less anal) cook. Not every vegetable needs to cut to the exact dimensions of 1cm x 1cm, especially when they are consumed at the speed of light anyway.

6. Try to appreciate the quirkiness in people as opposed to yelling obscenities at geriatrics and badly clothed people.

7. Become an offensive driver. After years of road rage, fist shaking and empty threats, a more passive approach needs to be adopted.

Happy New Years to all you fine fellas and sexy ladies! May this year be filled with stitch educing giggles and fabulous hair. May you keep your objectives in sight, if you are objective-less; do not hesitate to borrow one of ours.

oxox

L+B