Nasty Girls…

Lisa and I were hesitantly introduced to what seems like a mutant strain or the distant cousin of what seemed to be two women last weekend. Upon the initial meeting, these two broads stumbled and fumbled as they attempted to shake our hands. I think one of them were a little shocked at my death grip hand shake (my professional and fabulous hand shake has been evolved through years of working in a highly saturated boys club).

Needless to say, there was the integral up and down glance. For the ladies reading this, you know what I mean when I refer to the comparison glance (c-glance). The c-glance refers to a quick and automatic up and down motion of the head, females often participate in this primal act as a comparative tool. This motion allows us to sum up the competition or the company in one single glance.

The c-glance last weekend revealed a truly horrid sight. Think D-grade escorts, sporting hair that seemed strangely flammable. They staggered around the streets of Sydney struggling to keep their naval and breast bearing tops on. As their shoes became wedged in the grids of the Sydney street, to my dismay, they bent over to reveal their derriere. Clad in matching outfits and oh so classy tattoos that etched the words princess on their back sides, Lisa and I wondered where have all the classy ladies gone? Why has hair been replaced with straw like head gear? Why have flirty skirts been substituted for belts? And when did naval flashing ever become socially acceptable?

The end of the night saw us out on the balcony of a club that shall remain nameless, chatting to ALL the sexy fellas from the party. The moral of this story is that a little class, a cocktail and a stimulating conversation will command you respect and attention. Alternatively, featuring in the special skin-bearing Olympics, will get you many eye rolls and hours of uncomfortable outfit adjustment. Let’s raise our glasses and toast the sexy and classy ladies representin’ out there.